Giving gratitude (mirroring the beauty shown to us) is the equivalent of an emotional super food. It creates an exponential impact. New research shows that regular expressions of gratitude can profoundly strengthen our primary relationships (Wood et al, 2022). Understandably, a primary defense in interdependent (including familial) relationships is the fear of losing the self. Yet, this important motivation of to preserve oneself, may at times create unnecessary disequilibrium. Withholding practices of gratitude to those whom mean the most to us can generate stress and missed opportunities to experience relational beauty. Interestingly, by expressing gratitude, we reduce the stress experienced in those around us. And as research has shown for decades, consistent practices of gratitude improves multiple components of individual mental health. Essentially, we strengthen both the I and we simultaneously. #expressgratitude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #gratitude #grateful #healing #beauty #monarchbutterfly #butterfly #loveyou #therapy #therapistsofinstagram #psychology #psychologist #motivationalquotes #gratis #love

I continue to beam with gratitude and inspiration, after having attending the 2022 MAKERS Conference. There were innumerable intersections between brilliance and vulnerability, the identities of self and the identities of others, and between what we’ve already accomplished and what we will accomplish next. Ourselves and together. Seeing my little sister and executive producer of MAKERS @betbohnel do what I’ve seen her do my whole life, now in front of and amid all of these extraordinary women, were the proudest and most hope-producing experiences of my life. Thank you to all the extraordinary women who VANGUARD into the new territory before us, and also, to the young women and girls who are already doing it after us. #makers #makersconference . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #womenempowerment #maker #inspiration #monarch #womensrights #psychology #psychologist #motivational #motivation #october #california #cali #feminism #1973 #makingthefuture #love #inspireoneinspiremany #vote

July’s word.. #manifestation In order to live most healthfully, intentionally, and with aims of actualization, it behooves us to focus our thoughts on our desired outcomes. How does manifestation work psychologically? It starts with imagining how you want to live and what you want in your life. Not necessarily specific “things” you want in your life. More so, what might make it so that you can live in a manner that feels will be best for you. If you want your days to include more magic, tranquility, joy, and connection… imagine what kind of lifestyle factors might make it so that you can manifest this way of living. This might include consideration around what kind of lifestyle helps you to be more mindful and experience less distraction, intrusive thoughts, and emotional distress. Imagine a scene where you might manifest your desired self and surroundings. Write down words that you associate with this picture. Start taking small incremental steps towards manifesting your #bestself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #psychology #manifest #friday ##manifesting #livingyourbestlife #motivational #motivationalquotes #lifestyle #mentalhealth #july4th #july #healthylifestyle #therapist #cali #california #summer #manifestyourdreams #makeitcount #loveyourself #love #mayaangelou

Growing up, I had a poster on my wall with this Mandela quote. It had a picture of Jackie Joyner-Kersee hurdling. I took to looking at it when pulling for a psychological construct I did not yet know of, at least intellectually. Resilience. Resilience has once again been the week’s most thematically relevant therapeutic go-to. What does resilience really mean? It’s loosely defined as “advancing despite adversity” Rossouw & Rossouw, 2016). People who are considered to be psychologically resilient are thought to respond more favorably and healthfully in the face of adversity and loss. Essentially, those with resilience keep getting back up after falling. How do people build resilience inside of themselves? Here are some of predominant traits and behaviors resilient individuals use to thrive amid the worst of life’s hurdles. 1) Realistic optimism. This does not mean being blindly optimistic. It means cutting your losses and moving forward. 2) Learning from challenges. Some people have a stronger ability to endure stress. However, it is thought that genes do not determine destiny. Learning from from challenges can be taught to both children and adults. 3) Having resilient role models. Identifying people you admire for their perseverance. 4) Having purpose and a moral compass🧭. 5) Utilizing humor, flexibility, and community. Resilient can built be in each of us. I can think of few things more amazing about humans. #resilience #happyearthday . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #psychology #psycholgist #psycholgistsofinstagram #therapy #running #runningmotivation #motivation #strength #woman #motivationalquotes #cali #health #healing #nelsonmandela #california #222222 #californiaadventure #resiliencia #grow #runner #run #halfmarathon #longdistancerunning #growthmindset #selflove #posttraumaticgrowth #love #earthday

Similar to healing from physical injury, psychological healing is never absolute. Once we are injured, and our reptilian amygdalas have documented the circumstances of injury, we can never fully extrapolate the associations with the injuries from our memory. We can however, do what I call “an incremental take back” of the injury. We lay down new neural lines of memory that slowly start to distill the strength of the injurious memories. We can “take back” most things from a song to a street. We can make them anew in that rather than be associated with peril, they can become integrated and with emboldened strength. #postraumaticgrowth #bostonstrong💙💛 #rise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #bostonone #rainbow #boston #charlesriver #boylston #traumahealing #psychologist #motivation #therapy #growingback #marathon #growthmindset #grow #alwaysremember #love #memory #poetry #paychology #remember #copleysquare #healing #growth #becoming #empowerment #empowerwomen #empower #ptsd

I originally read Dr. Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning,” in my first graduate course in 2001. The brilliance and poignancy of his work has weaved its way through my life and work in more ways than any other source of on-going theoretical/scientific inspiration. Evolutionary, biological, and physical sciences align with Frankl’s notion that humans are naturally driven to find exits when surrounded by suffering. We often erroneously aim to alleviate our suffering with over-uses of hedonistic and destructive measures. Unfortunately, these behavior are often cyclical, bringing us back to the sources of suffering. Frankl posited that we can identify ways to bring our individualized selves into any set in of circumstances, through the discernment of meaning. Rather than aiming for “freedom from,” we have “freedom to” decide how to utilize our unique and singular selves to any given task. If you ever find yourself lost in a room, or standing up against the thick of decisional walls, find your feet and locate the sprigs of meaning inside of you. The meaning I am referring to doesn’t have to be mighty or over-arching. Take it to the granular. Hone in on the nuances of how you think and move. Who you are and who you are becoming can be specifically brought into any room in which you stand. Because you’re drawing upon yourself, you don’t have too far to reach for the source. #existentialpsychology #viktorfrankl . . . . . . . . . . . #psychology #psychologist #existentialism #flowers #fridaymotivation #existentialtherapy #therapist #selfgrowth #evolutionarypsychology #growth #psycholgistsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #friday #motivation #motivational #poppies #cali #mentalhealth #mindset #motivation #viktorfranklquotes #poppiesofinstagram #california #love #life

Whitman who identified as a humanistic, conceived of peace as an art-form. Einstein spoke of peace as he did most things, scientifically. As a psychologist, I conceptualize of peaceful practices as both art and science. Diminished peace literally alters the chemical distribution in our brains. It hinders our abilities to factor in physics skillfully. We collide with the elements less gracefully and with more harm inflicted. When we practice peace towards ourselves and others, forces of physics and chemical compositions abide. #humanism #physics #chemistry #waltwhitman . . . . . . . . . . . . . #psychology #psychologist #psychology_health #balance #harmony #magnolia #california #blueskies #therapistsofinstagram #therapist #humanisticpsychology #photography #skylovers #cali #californiaadventure #love

When waves of change and impermanence come flying your way like a nor-Easter, it’s natural to at first buckle-down into fear. While change has been a constant since time was a factor, we still resist against it mightily (self included on this one:). We do this because our nervous systems are battling multiple priorities simultaneously. We want to hold onto comfort and keep those we adore around us, while also wanting to grow. The resistance comes first because we can’t yet see where the transformative growth may take us. When the waves of change come, here’s what I recommend: At first, let yourself hold onto a solid rock and feel out that which you’re contending. Then, lay back into the impermanent elements and let them help you move to your next pocket of growth. Holding on too tightly for too long won’t negate the forces at work. Trust in your own elemental wings. #impermanence #youvegotthis #fridakahlo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #mindfulness #flowers #california #psychology #winteriscoming #psycholgistsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #therapist #changequotes #changeisgood #changeyourmindset #friday #love

“…The difference between a dark cloud and a white cloud is the light. …The difference between the Buddha and you, is also the light.” #thichnhathanh #beinthehereandnow . . . . . . . . . . #buddhistpsychology #buddism #psychology #buddha #mindfulness #mindful #minfulnessmatters #mindfulliving #transcendence #acceptance #therapistsofinstagram #restinpeace #stcroixriver #psycholgistsofinstagram #love #peace #zenmaster transcendence ##peacefulwarrior #grateful

Keep moving forward. #martinlutherkingday . . . . . . . . . . . #martinlutherking #mlkday #mlk #mlkjr #moveforward #motivationalquotes #thepathforward #bostonuniversity #drmartinlutherkingjr #therapistsofinstagram #mlkquotes

I have always looked towards the sky. When I was little, I reportedly stuck my head out the car window towards the sun. I associated clouds with Midwestern tornado drills and/or the loss of a sun-struck day. I still look to the sky. However, that which is inside of it, and flying amid it, is expansively different. I have been hearing from many of my patients, and my community, that the current conditions feel ominous and much like March, 2020 (especially as we head into the holidays). I hear you! I absolutely understand that the current conditions are again concerning, frustrating, and exhausting. Yet, as is the case with all things that look a lot like something difficult, we are NOT in the same place that we were in 2020. Those of us who are still here, have walked through many days inside of ourselves and alongside of one another. We have changed. We have gathered tools to protect ourselves and one another. We have learned to adapt and reconfigure the picture. We have learned to think like vividly branched trees. Remember that the brain is designed to take pictures of fear-producing sections of time so that it may later alert us if we encounter something that “resembles” previous storms. Our brains are doing what they do, and trying to protect us. Remember that while the reptilian parts of our brains are exceptionally smart in some ways, they are the oldest parts of our brain and do not yet understand that which resembles a historical storm, isn’t necessarily a storm of the same ilk. Furthermore, even if the storm worsens, we have grown since the last storm. Our minds have expanded. As hummingbirds are said to signify, I encourage you to focus your minds on generating personal and collective harmony and mindful presence around that which is in your control. Expansively, adapt, and embrace what is in front of you. #maryoliver #yourmindispowerful . . . . . . . #psychology #psychologist #december #therapistsofinstagram #minfulness #motivation #psycholgistsofinstagram #growthmindset #evolutionarypsychology #psychology #hummingbird #california #december2021 #love

Hello friends. I took a hiatus from the Dr. B. posts to anticipate and then experience sitting in the stages of grief after losing my mother, Maggie. As Elizabeth Kübler-Ross reportedly told her protégé David Kessler, while she appreciated the stages of grief they’d published around, she aspired for grief to be understood as mightily complicated. In my earlier years as a psychologist, I shared very little about my personal life. I relayed to my patients that they would come to know me through what happened inside of the vulnerable room we shared, not with the details of my life. While I continue to hold a careful frame around disclosure, I have also learned the nuances around how sharing (some) amid experiencing loss and other challenges, can enrich and inform the work. As such, in this public format (which is Not therapy), that it is also important to model vulnerability and movement towards integrated health. My mother was extraordinary. How she lived her life was her message. She was exceptionally patient with others and in her life-long artistry. She had magical eyes. They assured you that she was not only listening, but caring with a level of connection the had time and space slipping sideways. When she was with you, she was with You. She believed in an entity much bigger that us. Not in the fist-wielding God kind of way, but in a love fiercely and unabashedly kind of way. She continued to run at the ocean, despite how hard she’d been hit by the waves. She giggled a lot, looked at the grass, flowers, and sky a lot. She was softly sweet. Astoundingly adaptive. Wildly wise. She lived by what she believed in..gentleness, curiosity, artfulness, gracefulness, kindness, and infinite love. She said to us often, “I will always be with you.” She will be. I encourage you, hone in what you want your messages to be, and then learn to live as an expression of them. #buddhistpsychology #intentionalliving #thichnhathanh . . . . . . . #liveyourbestlife #prioritizeyourhealth #alwaysandforever #publicpsychology #psychology #psychologist #thichnhathanhquotes #loss #grief #therapistsofinstagram #minnesota #bebeautifulforyourself #healing #psycholgistsofinstagram #love

“Love teaches us we can still go on a little more even after falling apart.” Dhiman Amid our individual and collective points of crumbling, it behooves each and all of us to first regroup and assess. Create a map forward that is honoring and protective of your health and character. Find solid ground in which you can do an inventory of the wreckage. What recourses do you have still in abundance? Which ones need more space to rejuvenate? Aim to divert your extended focus from mistakes made, or blame. Extrapolate what learning you need to move forward with momentum. One essential reference point I often bring self and others back to is Maslow’s classic hierarchy of needs. It’s simple, but literally attending first to our physiological needs is what’s most important, and smart. Get yourself to a place of stability. When you get there, eat, sleep, shower. Repeat. It works because our bodies need to feel safe and strong before we can do anything else. As you’re building the layers back up, do your best to not confound matters with chaos. Avoid adding any unneeded confrontation and/or any forms of self-harm. In fact, stay clear of toxicity. Trust your ability to do so. If you find yourself questioning what toxicity looks like, squint your psychological eyes of intuition and only let in that which is of more light than dark. Anchor yourself in the simply space. Hope often meets us there and helps us to the next series of steps. #esperanza #keepholdingon #hope #youarestrong . . . . . . . . . #psychology #psycholgistsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #therapist #inspiration #posttraumaticgrowth #love #growback #minnesota #minneapolis #minnesotagirl #dhiman #heal #youarestrongerthanyouthink #motivationalquotes #motivationalspeech

When hearing the word anxiety, it seems that the first association that should come to mind is the Central Nervous System (CNS). When we think of why we experience anxiety, the short answer is that the CNS (in collaboration with the amygdala and the hippocampus) is trying to alert us to potential dangers. In modern times, we have what we label as anxiety and even anxiety disorders because essentially there are innumerable threats (actual and perceived). While our brains work hard to discern threats, the amount of stimuli, pressure, and even traumas, that many experience, have made it so that our brains become overwhelmed with CNS reactions. I tell my patients daily, listen to anxiety, it’s a force and it is trying to tell you something. Two things most strongly reinforce anxiety (particularly trauma), avoidance and flooding (being overwhelmed, or the things we actually fear). If we are facing something that is fear-producing, avoiding it entirely will only worsen it. But if we deny what our bodies are telling us is too much for us to take on, especially for trauma survivors, a recipe of harm has been created. If someone is a survivor of trauma, we can’t tell them that what they are experiencing is because they are afraid or not able to tolerate pain. For example, if their bodies are experiencing the “twisties” (as Simone Biles has introduced to us) trust that they are not weak and they are saying no because they do not want to flood themselves. They might not want to risk their lives and are heeding what their CNS is telling them. From an evolutionary perspective, this is as smart as it gets. Learning to read the intricacies of what our bodies are telling us, and setting boundaries accordingly is as courageous as it gets. #anxietyawareness #anxietysupport #trustyourself #truecourage #bravehearts . . . . . . . I#traumarecovery #psychology #psychologist #bostontherapist #californiatherapist #life #posttraumaticgrowth #psycholgistsofinstagram #therapist #simonebilesfan #simonebilesisthebest #brave #braveheart #california #therapistsofinstagram #traumatherapy #love #mentalhealth #imspiration #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthforathletes